In Defense of Moms with Social Lives

As it nears closer to the weekend, rest assured that somewhere in social media-land, a #judgynonparent is preparing a meme, tweet or status update shaming those of us who have children and choose to have a life outside slinging dirty diapers and juicy-juice boxes.

The cliché of neglectful young mothers is too often the crutch for lame jokes and Instagram memes. Being a young mother, and being friends with other young mothers is enough for me to finally address those who constantly critique our lifestyle choices.

It’s understandable that when you’re not a parent, there are some inner-workings of parenthood that you just won’t get. Like not understanding why I still tell you my child’s age in months, or that I would rather his hair look absolutely all over the place than put braids in it (I. Hate.The.Braids.). I get it. But then, there are just the downright judgy people — and I’ve addressed you before — like the woman on Facebook who called my child a “spoiled crumbcruncher” and implied that I was afraid of my kid, in response to my piece about tantrums (which she clearly didn’t read).

This is apparently what they do when Mommy is out with her girlfriends.

This is apparently what they do when Mommy is out with her girlfriends.

My question is this: Have none of you ever spent the night at granny’s so your mother could go out with her girlfriends? Or so your parents could spend a night out on the town? Secondly, why does no one ever question men about whose care their child is in? Men leave their kids at home with their mamma, to go to the club everyday, B…and there’s nothing wrong with that. Because you know why? During club time? It’s also bedtime. Sleep. Sweet dreams.

My parents have always been fairly sociable. I have fond memories of going to either set of grandparents houses for  so my parents could enjoy a night out. Not once did I think they didn’t love me or that they were abandoning me. Not once did I feel neglected and wonder why they weren’t tucking me in. And never did I not have a boatload of fun while my parents were away. Anytime outside of my recollection is probably because I was too young to remember and was obviously not traumatized, and probably was asleep by the time I knew what was going on anyway.

It’s not at all ok to consistently neglect your offspring in exchange for painting the town red with your crew, but I have trouble understanding what’s neglectful about leaving Baby Billy with Nana, so you can make a 10pm shindig. Baby Billy should be sleeping. You’ll be back by the morning and he’ll be none the wiser.

I can’t think of anything more annoying than someone probing me about where my child is, while I happen to be out cruising the city with my girls after dark. Like…its 11pm, he’s somewhere sleeping. Should I have brought him with me to celebrate my friend’s birthday at a bar? Or should I just be forever relegated to the company of a two-year old? Are we not allowed to enjoy nightlife now that we’re moms? What am I missing here?

It’s as if people forget that a child could have two parents and could potentially be spending the night building forts and playing video games with daddy while mommy enjoys a long-overdue happy hour. Or maybe the grands offered to take little munchkin for the weekend because they haven’t seen him. Either way, just know that wherever my child is, he’s well taken care of by someone who loves him and cares about his safety and well-being. K? K.



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2 thoughts on “In Defense of Moms with Social Lives

  1. Adele Shannon says:

    Kudos for writing this piece!

  2. Marie Young says:

    Girl I’m so totally on your side. Plus, in order for a mother to be a GOOD mother, balance is required. This means that she will need time for herself, whether she goes to the club or sits in Starbucks for 4 hours reading.

    Naysayers (usually ppl without kids), go have some babies and then we’ll talk!

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