So if you’ve missed my subtle social media hints, I’m about 5 months into the process of becoming a mother of two. Yup! I’m pregnant!
At currently 2 years post baby number one, I have to admit that I felt the slightest tinge of jealousy seeing other women basking in their pregnancy glow and getting all the attention. Looking back, pregnancy was such a fun time. I felt like a goddess and could wear whatever I wanted because, who gon’ check me boo? That super tight unforgiving jersey knit maxi? The one that usually puts your little “pooch” on display? That was my preggo uniform complete with side of belly, boobs and booty.
I would often think back to the royal treatment I remember getting. Once, Nordstrom employees bought out a chair and bottle of sparkling water for me while my husband was shopping. I also got to skip to the front of those crazy lines at the last Presidential election. The incessant compliments of how gorgeous and glowing I was didn’t hurt either.
Now that I’m doing this again, I realize that I’d been looking through rose-colored lenses. Pregnancy is beautiful thing, but it also sucks sometimes — actually lots of times. Here are some times in particular that my body has so conveniently reminded me of the second time around.
Whoever coined this term had to have been…idk high or something. First, let’s get one thing straight. Morning sickness is really “when and however long I damn well please” sickness. Personally mine would begin in the morning and camp out all day or resurface when the spirit so moved it. A condition typically reserved for the first trimester, (first 3 months of pregnancy) I found that this time, the”morning sickness” lingered until the end of month 4…which is a long time in preggo. Random bouts of nausea, food aversions, and not being able to brush your teeth without gagging is really not the move. When I say food aversions? I mean, the mere thought or smell of a food can send you into vomit city. Not cute. Or fun.
Eating for Two
Are you hungry for two? Certainly. Preggo hunger is the most intense hunger you’ve ever felt in your life. So why not just eat right? No. Part of what makes it cruel and unusual punishment, is that your tummy is now filled with baby and amniotic fluid, and your organs are rearranged to accommodate your new guest. So your stomach? Yea, not much room to expand. While you may be starving, you take two bites of that cheeseburger your new dependent so violently demanded that you eat, and you feel like your stomach is now in your throat and could combust at any given second. No relief in sight until you expel all bodily waste, aka anything that isn’t your baby. Any fart, poop, pee, or burp must go IMMEDIATELY. Speaking of pregnancy farts — you know how people say “it smells like something crawled inside of you and died”? I’m pretty sure something crawling inside of you and living, is 10 times worse. That’s how bad they are. Oh, and there’s also heartburn.
Everyone loves Pregnant Women
Well, this isn’t exactly a lie. People are really nice to you, especially at the beginning of your pregnancy. Everyone wants to know how you’re feeling and if you need anything. There are also those really sucky people too. The people out there who are wondering why it is, that pregnant women need to rest so often or need priority when there are seats around or why it’s any of their concern. I’ve even heard people say things like “It’s not my fault she’s pregnant” — which, no it’s not your fault, but just saying. I prob need to sit more than you do now. Being that my lungs were ousted from their rightful spot, and are now competing with my intestines, heart, kidneys, liver, and sack full of baby (which as you could imagine, makes it really hard to breathe). Also, my stomach is really heavy so I can’t stand for long periods of time because my equilibrium is off for some reason, and my stomach is hanging from my body so I need to like…rest it on my lap or something. But like me, you’ll soon find that no jaun kerr.
Oddly enough, the rudest behavior I’ve experienced while pregnant was from men on the metro. I’ve had men push past me to get the available seats, I’ve had men shove past me, not caring that my skin and a little fat is the only protection that my baby has from their stiff elbow. I’ve even had other women step in to say “Excuse me she is pregnant, you need to move,” Or offer me their seat because a man didn’t. I’m not saying chivalry is dead but…basically people think its cute and great that you’re pregnant but nobody cares about your woes, B. Oh, and around month 8? Even your husband/boyfriend/baby’s father is going to get tired of you. Prepare.
What are some pregnancy myths you’ve discovered?