The Rules of Engagement: Who Gets to Be Married?

Let me just preface this post with a long deep sigh. A sigh for the douchebags and for the a**holes alike.  In short, people are draining. In long, it’s becoming increasingly clear to me that people view marriage as some type of reward for a woman’s “good behavior”. I know this because of the amount of bandwidth being wasted to point out what behaviors will get one wifed, what SHOULD get one wifed and who should not, by any circumstances be wifed.

Unwifeable: Women who enjoy taking trips with their girlfriends

Unwifeable: Women who enjoy taking trips with their girlfriends

This past weekend Kimye tied the knot. Yay. Good for them. *throws confetti* I’m not a Kim K. fan. Short of the fact that she has perfect eyebrows, a nice body and is usually dressed quite impeccably because Yeezy taught her, I don’t understand her purpose. BUT I draw the line at judging her relationship with Kanye and bad-mouthing her  nuptials. One, because I don’t really care. The ring on her finger doesn’t add to, or subtract the one from mine. Two, because for what? Kanye watched Kim Kardashian rise to fame just like the rest of us. He saw Ray-J, Reggie Bush and Kris Humphries parade her on their arms just like we did… and he obviously doesn’t care. Despite the droves of haters who have dedicated their week to pointing out the fact that Ray-J, among others hit it first, Kanye and Kim are married. It was a gorgeous wedding, Kim looked beautiful, and Kanye smiled. Be mad about it.

From my observation, there is a certain type of woman who concerns herself with deciding who is worthy of becoming someone’s wife. She has most likely spent her life carefully calculating ways to guarantee a diamond on her ring finger. This is usually the type of woman who posts pictures of her latest culinary masterpiece on Facebook, complete with a caption about how her future husband will never go hungry. Her go-to critique of other women most often begins with “Who would want to marry her when she…”. She also posts Instagram memes that outline the importance of not letting your man leave the house hungry or horny, and other key components to getting chose. She thinks that there are certain actions and behaviors that get you married, when really, the only requirements for a successful marriage is that the two people involved be in love, compatible and able to resolve conflict effectively. You don’t need to be the pristine image of June Cleaver to provide that.

Wife her!

Wife her!

When someone comes along who hasn’t quite followed “the rules” and just so happens to be a couple carats heavier on her left hand, it doesn’t sit well with some people. Someone like Amber Rose who once made a living as a stripper, someone like Tiny who people may not find that attractive, and even someone like Kim Kardashian who for the third time is making her way down the aisle while we can still view her goods on the world-wide web. According to society, these women don’t deserve to be married especially when there are so many GOOD women out here who are just waiting to be scooped up into holy matrimony and wash someone’s boxers.

Everytime someone says something negative about Kim’s marriage or anyone else who has been deemed undeserving, all I hear is “Why does she get to get married when I’m the one who’s followed all the rules?” Meanwhile, as you’re tallying qualifications to put on your wifey resume, there are others who are simply going about their day, living their life as they please and just so happen to be getting wifed up on the way–some several times.

We could count Kim’s or anyone else’s domestic shortcomings all day, but we have no clue about the reasons why Kanye has chosen Kim to be his. We know nothing about the way Kim makes Kanye laugh when he’s feeling down, we aren’t aware of the sweet gifts she sends him while he’s on tour or the motivational pep talks she gives when he’s missing his Mom. There’s a reason why men keep asking her to marry them and I’m pretty sure it transcends her huge butt.

From my view, it looks like Kim and Kanye are in love, and the funny thing about love is, all of the check-list-y, wifey material mumbo-jumbo goes out the window when you’ve found your soul mate. When that person comes along, they won’t come with a red pen to mark your errors. They won’t ask you your body count, won’t care if you know how to cook or not. It won’t matter if you wear granny panties to bed, or if you enjoy going to the club with your girlfriends on Friday nights, and the opinions of those of us who live on these interwebs will matter not.






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2 thoughts on “The Rules of Engagement: Who Gets to Be Married?

  1. You are becoming my new favorite blogger!! 😀

  2. Pamela Davis says:

    I love this post! Too many people are worried about placing their opinions on someone else’s relationship. It’s time for people to stay in your own lane. When you celebrate someone else’s blessings, then you are blessed. That goes for love or anything. People are living their lives without a care of what someone thinks of them. That’s true living & loving.

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